Going through a divorce is not much fun. It is a very complicated life period that makes everyone suffer and experience many negative and bad emotions. Although you may consider that your divorce is a relief since you have never been happy in your marriage, you are not very honest. First of all, with yourself.
However, overcoming the negative impact of divorce is a must for everyone. Some people start divorced dating too soon after their breakup while others procrastinate too long with it. When is it best to start dating again after your divorce? How to start it? Should you compare your next partner with your ex-spouse? All these questions are urgent and bother many divorced men and women. Below, we will try to answer them all.
When it is not too early to start dating after a divorce
Saying that every case is individual and you must decide for yourself taking into account different factors would be right. Those factors include:
- Who initiated the divorce;
- Whether you loved your partner or not;
- If you were happy in your marriage;
- The reasons for your divorce (betrayal, cheating, dishonesty, abuse, etc.).
As you can see, any of these aspects may affect your decision heavily. If you believe you are happy in marriage but your spouse declares that she is leaving for the sake of another man, that is a very hard stroke. You are shocked and definitely, your heart is broken. Of course, such people need much more time to recover after such a hard breakup and start divorced dating.
However, even if not taking all of these factors into account, psychologists say every divorce affects both men and women regardless of whether they wanted it or not. Time is needed to recover after it. They recommend waiting at least one year before you start dating again. Of course, you can arrange a few dates and go out if you are asked to, but starting a new relationship will be useless. It will most likely end not better than your marriage because your mind and soul are not healed yet.
What to consider when starting to date after divorce
When you are almost smashed by the breakup, it is always hard to imagine how to start dating or even talking to someone again. There are a few tips to consider before you engage in the fascinating process of divorced dating. They should help you get a better image of how to proceed, what to beware of, and what mistakes you should not make again.
Do not compare anyone to your ex
Comparing all potential dates to ex-partners is the biggest mistake of all men and women who went through a divorce. Understandably, you do not want to come across the same partner again, especially if you were hurt or disappointed. However, you should realize that all people are different.
If you loved your partner much and your ex-spouse was good, it is also a mistake to look for someone similar. You already divorced this person and there are reasons for that. Maybe people who possess the same qualities simply do not match you. Anyways, if your marriage ended, something was wrong.
Just relax and give a chance to divorced dated – let all people you come across in your life. Stop selecting people by their resemblance to your ex-partner. Be open to all acquaintances and do not hurry to make conclusions. Avoid choosing the same type of people during the process of divorced dating, too. If it didn’t work out in the past, it may not work out in the future again.
Leave your baggage behind
You will hardly meet people on divorced dating sites who do not have a bad experience in their lives. We all have it. However, it doesn’t mean that if you were hurt or burnt once, you may not start trying again. You should learn certain lessons from your mistakes and experience and try again.
We often transmit our bad experiences to our new relationships and have fears and prejudice. It only means that you did not recover from your divorce. Understand that every bad experience is better than no experience at all. Learn your lessons and move on.
Consider online dating
If you have children or are too busy with your job and cannot find any single minute to go out and have dates, consider online divorced dating sites. They will not take much of your time but will allow you to at least start talking to other singles quickly. You will get involved in the process and your mind will be distracted from your divorce a bit. Such kind of dating also allows you to overcome your fears.
You should choose your website or app wisely though. Take into account these few tips.
| Read the reviews | Checking the platform for divorced dating is a must. Spend a few minutes to see what other users say about this website. See if there are a few testimonials and success stories. A website must help people to find each other. |
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| Avoid large age gaps | There are different people on dating websites. If you are an average divorced man in his 50s, avoid answering messages of 20-years olds. Such girls will give you more confidence in yourself but they hardly consider a serious relationship with you. Dating websites have a lot of intruders, so beware of losing your common sense. |
| Do not talk much about your divorce and trauma | Starting your acquaintance with someone from how difficult your divorce was, how bad your ex-spouse is, and how much you were hurt is not a good idea. It is better not to talk about it unless you are asked specifically. Even then, avoid saying bad things about your ex-spouse on divorced dating sites. The person on the other side of the screen will understand that this is only your point of view and if something goes wrong with your new partner, you will say the same bad things about her. |
| Do not get stuck online | Online dating is great for initial contact. If everything is going well, try to arrange a date in person. Very often, people find a sort of relief in online communication. You should not forget about your initial goal and try to build a new relationship though. |
Conclusion
Remember that even after going through a difficult divorce, you have all chances to build a new happy, and healthy relationship. You are not limited to anything and there exist such websites as Sofiadate that broaden your horizons. You may consider meeting someone not only in your city or country but also abroad. If nothing worked out with a person from your location, looking for a match from another country on divorced dating sites could be not a bad idea.
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