When you’re in love, your heart often overrules your head. However, if you’re considering taking the next step by getting engaged, it’s essential to look at your relationship and make sure you and your love interest are on the same page. Many couples get married too quickly without discussing important topics, which can often result in divorce. Here are some things you should address with your significant other before popping the question.
Are you a saver while your significant other is a spender or vice versa? It’s essential to be honest and open about debts and financial plans. If your outlook on money is different from your partner’s, discuss these financial differences to see whether you can compromise.
Don’t be ashamed of your financial past nor shame your partner for their past. Getting married means accepting the good and bad about each other and moving forward as a team. When there is a new money-related problem, keep a cool head, make a plan to solve the issue and move on. After all, once the finances are in order, you can start to look at engagement rings!
Being a parent is a full-time job on top of your actual full-time job. Be honest with your significant other as to whether you are open to having children. If you don’t want kids, but your other half does, it’s not fair to lie to that person about your true feelings. Even though you’re both in love, if one of you doesn’t want children, the issue can be a deal-breaker.
Sit down and talk about your career goals and where you want to be in five years. If you want to move to a city to be a big-time lawyer, but your loved one wants to remain in a rural community doing the same job, you might have a problem. It’s worth discussing, however, because love can inspire you to compromise. Perhaps you can live outside of a city in a rural area with jobs you both love.
How do you address issues that are bothering you? Do you yell without giving your partner a chance to respond, or do you calmly relay the topic and respectfully allow for a response? Everyone has moments where they are more upset than they should be and say things they don’t mean. However, this type of communication shouldn’t be how you talk to each other on a normal basis.
If you’re upset about something, wait a while before discussing it with your significant other. Talking about something when you’re less bitter will allow you to think clearly and respond politely. You’re not going to want a marriage with explosive fighting all of the time, especially if you have kids and they see and learn from this inappropriate behavior.
Talk about how chores will be divided. Are you going to do almost everything, or will you do indoor tasks while your significant other focuses on outdoor work? What if your loved one is neglecting their part of the deal? Decide how this issue will be discussed and settled. Household chores shouldn’t make or break a relationship, but they can certainly make the union tough if you don’t discuss these responsibilities.
If you and your partner have different beliefs, make sure that these dissimilar interests don’t interfere with your compatibility. Some people are extremely religious and will only marry someone who has the same views. Others, however, are willing to look past these differences and respect whatever beliefs their partners have. Having unique ideas on religion isn’t necessarily a negative thing. As long as you both value each other’s thoughts and opinions, you’ll be able to make the relationship work.
Before you decide to get engaged, talk to your significant other about these serious topics. It’s important to know if the union isn’t going to work rather than getting married just to get divorced in the future. Don’t have a glum outlook if you and your partner disagree on several issues. As long as you can compromise, you may end up happily married.